Bella's Past
by FallenShadows134
Summary: Alright, Bella has a secert past that involves both, her new family and the pack. Rated for language mostly there is some fluff between Edward & Bella, but no romance read & review some spoilers


I ran to the clearing by the border line where Edward was supposed to be, sensing that they were coming and quick, but my mind was on other things. 'I really need to tell Edward about my secret past… now is as a good as time as ever.' I thought when all of a sudden I could feel Edward right behind me with his arms around my waist pulling me to his chest while his mouth rested on my shoulder whispering into my ear, "What secret past do you need to tell me about?"

I just smirked and snuggled closer to him before replying, "Well you will just have to wait and find out as soon as our audience decides to show. However, I didn't realize that I was thinking out loud… or that you were that close to me. Oh well," I said snuggling deeper into his chest then sighed, "Our audience will be here in 3… 2… 1…"

Then all of a sudden you could hear the distinctive sound of five pair of feet running and someone yelling in a hurt and confused tone, "Bella, why did you let him do that to you? You could have stayed with me! Why didn't you?" As Jake, Sam, Paul and the rest of the wolf pack emerged from the woods to the clearing where Edward and I had been alone in seconds earlier. And I could tell Edward was trying to not growl at the pack and what Jacke had just said.

I smiled and turned and faced Edward, "Relax love, you'll find out, but it involves them too. And plus I need to give Jake his answers. Just please calm down and I'll deal with this okay?" Then turned back to the pack and said so everyone could hear, "Calm down, I'll explain and it will all make sense, but the rest of the pack besides Jake, Sam , and Paul should have a seat and stay quiet and get some what comfy because it might be a long story."

"Why Paul?" Jared asked before I could continue, "I'm higher in the pack… higher ranking… so to say."

"If you shut up and sit down it will make sense and you will understand." I said rubbing my head in frustration.

"Why should I listen to you?" Jared snapped back.

"Shut it pup," I growled glaring at him, "before I do something I might or might not regret doing in the morning." I looked back at Jacke, "Now…"

But before I could say anything else Jared barked out at me, "Don't you dare call me pup, bitch."

That got Edward, Jake, and fro some reason Sam and Paul all growling as if promising lots of pain for Jarred. However I was the only one who knew why Sam and Paul were growling.

I quickly glanced over to Edward with a smile on my face and whispered to fast and softly for the pack to hear or understand, "No worries love, I have it under control, although if we have to fight the pup you can have the first hit alright Edward?" He just smiled and nodded in agreement and for me to continue.

I smiled and turned back to Jared glaring and growled, "Pup," so everyone in the clearing could hear me, "Don't even think about going down that rode with me!" I smirked as I could see the entire pack freeze and tense in fear, "You don't want to push my buttons because unlike you, I no longer have to rest and if Edward or Alice could see what I will do… Well let's just say Alice would be here in an instant and they would both be calling Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle, Rosalie, and most likely even Esme, just to save your sorry ass. So don't even think about pushing me unless you want a very painful death and just be a good dog and sit down with your tail between your legs and shut up! Got it?" I growled one last time as he just nodded his head to frightened to say, 'yes' or anything else for that matter and sat down slightly trembling in fear.

I just smiled satisfied and turned back to the rest of the pack, "As I was trying to say before pup interrupted," I quickly glared at Jared silently daring him to say anything. I smiled satisfied yet again and continued, "Jake you want to know why I didn't stay with you and stay human, correct?" He just nodded still frozen and tense, "I'll start with Jake's 'beginning'… so to say… then. But first dose anyone besides the pup, have any questions?" I asked.

"Hey Bella," Embry said sort of nervous yet completely curious at the same time, "Why do you hate Jared?"

I smiled sadly remembering parts of my past, "Well it has to do with my past and what he knows he did, but never thought anyone else would find out about especially me, yet I don't even think he knows who I am." I held up my hand demanding that everyone stayed quiet, "It will make sense soon." I quickly explained then continued, "Plus," I stated quickly glancing at Paul, "he hurt a brother of mine… in fact my first brother I ever had… and for that I hate him. And what made it worse was that I couldn't do anything while I saw it happening right in front of me." I said closing my eyes for a second but opening them before I continued to speak, even thought I was starring off in space.

"I'm going to start where Jake finally tells me what was bothering him," I stated after realizing that no one wanted to ask me anything right now, "you know the pack was watching him and what was going on with Embry while all his father would tell him was that 'No worries things will be clear and better in a while,' or something similar to that. And I just told you 'No worries, Embry is probably going through a hard time and he must have heard Sam and the rest of them had gone through it before so they were just helping him thorough it. Plus that is what packs or gangs do; they help each other out for if one falls they all fall. And for them watching you it is probably just a precaution since you two were so close, practically brothers… they probably just want to make sure this isn't affecting you to much.' When I said pack, I cursed mentally at myself and thought I was screwed because I was sure tat Billy had at least told you that legend, but apparently I was wrong because you just asked, 'What were you in a gang or something?' and I just said, 'Yeah, I guess you could call it that.' Then I changed the subject as quickly as I could, can you guess why?" I asked looking at the pack and continued when no one had said a word.

"Huh, not even you Sam… maybe it is to early to put two and two together, o well..." I mumbled thinking out loud, and then continued on with what I had been saying earlier "But the 'gang' that I was in was with Paul and Sam." I paused for a second as a lot of bad and a few good memories came rushing back, "Well you see Charlie was never the first person I ever wanted to live with, yeah I know he is technically my father, but one year when Billy took Charlie and me fishing I got bored and ran off into the woods without even saying a word," I could sense Edward stiffen so I quickly motioned for him to come back to me since when the pack showed up he went a little further from me, so I wanted him to come so I could give him a hug and he could hold me around my waist. He just shook his head telling me silently, 'not now, not with the pack here.'

I sighed inwardly and faced the pack again and continued, **(AN/keep in mind that little scene between Edward and Bella took less than 30 sec) **"and soon got lost, but then I accidently bumped into Sam, and now looking back I believe he was about to phase but he must have heard me coming because he just asked me if I was lost, when I told him I was he took me back to Charlie talking with me the entire way. But when we got back it turned out Charlie hadn't even noticed that I had ever left. So every time I went fishing with Charlie I ran off and went to the place where I meet Sam, sometimes he was there other times he wasn't, but when he was he would talk to me for a while and it always felt as if I was talking to my older brother than some stranger. What sucked though, was that Charlie never noticed and then he and Renée got in a huge fight on the phone and some how I was in the middle of it and sense Renée lived in Phoenix , I was stuck with Charlie especially sense Renée was about to start traveling with her new job for a while. The next day Charlie and I went fishing and I ran crying to where Sam and I always meet, but Paul was there not Sam. I asked him if he knew Sam, when Paul said he did and he also knew where he was, I asked Paul to take me to him and to my surprise Paul just smiled as if he knew what I was going through and took me to Sam. When I explained to Sam what was going on he let me stay at his house as his little sister for a while, and I lived there for about a year and a half. And the entire time I was there I could tell there were hiding something from me so I would sneak downstairs about three times a week and just sit and listen to hem talk, and I found out a lot of pack secrets.

"Now keep in mind Sam used to let his guard down a lot around me, so I knew and learned how to hide things from him and how to get away with just about anything. And Paul and I were close, he was my brother so we could tell each other almost everything, but I knew he wouldn't tell me his biggest secret because if I had one I wouldn't tell him, but I thought Sam would have because after all during my time there Sam became more of a father I had always wanted and needed, one that noticed I was gone and cared about my safety, rather than a brother who cared about me. But apparently I was wrong because one night Paul came home so pissed that he was shacking in anger, which, at that time, never happened. Paul was always calm and patient; in fact he even made Sam and would have made Emily or Esme look extremely impatient. For example if something was bothering me, but I didn't want to talk about it Sam would give me two days before giving up and ask me what was wrong and tell me he was there if I wanted to talk about anything, but Paul would wait at least a week and then wait until Sam would be gone for a the day and then he would stick a note under my door saying something like, 'If you want to talk to someone or have someone just listen to you, I'm here if you want. I am your personal therapist. I am here if you want, I'll be in my room. Paul' and he would always have cookies, milk, and tissues in his room and soft music playing, and I would always tell him what was going on." I said smiling remembering the better days of my younger childhood.

"But that night, he was so out of character and I later found out why, someone was talking about hurting me, in fact killing me. And since he considered me his little sister he would do anything to protect me. That night I found out their biggest secret, they were wolves. And that night I gave myself away, because I knew what my brother needed and wanted, he wanted a hug, I could se it in his eyes, he wanted to make sure I was safe and alright, but he couldn't bring himself to go to my room. So I walked over to him and gave him a hug to reassure him that I was fine. That night he stayed in his wolf form and we slept on the living room floor as he 'held' me through the night like any brother would, making sure I was safe. Sam had watched the entire thing and had tired to stop me, but I had refused to leave my brother's side or talk about anything that night, so when morning came, Sam made me swear never to tell anyone about anything I saw or heard about their furry little secret. I agreed to keep it a secret, but I stuck around even though I was forced to, by Charlie, to move back in with him, and watched from the shadows and when the pup came along I knew. I also saw how every time Sam wasn't around he would make fun of Paul, and I could tell every time he brought me into the conversation like saying, 'Who's the bitch you think about?'" I said glaring at Jared fighting back a growl.

Then Paul spoke for the first time, "You are her? You are alive little sis?"

"Yes to both big brother." I said smiling at Paul who became calm, the way he used to be, the way I knew him to be.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" he asked truly curious and slightly hurt.

"Because I knew you weren't ready to accept that fact quite yet the last time we saw each other, but I knew if I waited my brother would come back. And I was right," I stated calmly but smiling then I ran over and hugged him and continued what I was saying, "I am glad I waited and I think I would like to schedule another therapy session and let's make it soon," when I said that we both started laughing.

"You know Bella," Paul stated with a strait face trying not to laugh, "You don't smell good at all… but better than some of the others," he said cracking up by the time he finished.

"I could say the same for you Paul," I stated then laughed a little, "However, you do smell way better than the pup over there." With that said everyone except the pup, was laughing.

After I hugged Paul one more time, I smiled and stepped back and addressed Jacke, "Okay Jake now that everyone is on the same page of my history, I bet you still don't understand why I picked the way I did do you?"

"Yeah, I don't get it. Why him? Why not me? Why become a vampire? Why…" he asked but I interrupted him.

"Why him?" you ask, that's simple, I love him. 'Why become a vampire?' A little harder but still easy, I wanted to because to me it means I can do everything with Edward, live forever and such, and it means I am his equal in every way now, plus to become an official member of my new family. You asked, 'Why not me?' That's the hardest one, but you pissed me off quite a few times." I raised my hand again demanding he stay quite and continued before he could interrupt, "I knew you for at least six years Jake, and yet I found out from Billy that you were fine and you were well enough to be out and about again. In fact that you were already hanging out with the pack and having fun, I believe you were at the movies that time. Sure even though you didn't know it, I knew abut the furry little secret, but I didn't know if someone could die from it or if it could possibly go wrong and since I hadn't heard from you in a month when you had gone home sick and I hadn't heard from you in a month and Billy had told me you got really sick I was scarred and you couldn't even pick up the damn phone like you promised and say you were alright?! When I found out you were fine I waited for another week to see if you would call or give me the smallest hint that you changed into a wolf so I could guess, but no I had to go over to your house and sit there for two hours to give you the perfect opportunity, but you just told me that there was nothing more to say when you told me nothing at all and that we couldn't be friends anymore." I sighed extremely frustrated and started to rub my head again.

"But Bella, Sam hat told me not to tell anyone!" Jacke said trying to get me to understand.

"Yeah I get that, remember I lived with him for a while. I know Sam is the alpha and what he says is law but you know what? Edward knew me for six months and then during then he disappeared for a month, acted like I didn't exist for about four months, so really we only knew each other as friends for two months and of course you have to take out the weekends and the sunny days so lets say we were only friends about a month and we just saw each other at school. Although he knew me from what others thought about me, he still didn't know me that well or how I would react to something and I did not know him except from the rumors and the tad bits I actually could get out of him. But even so, if I asked what was going on or ask him a question he would answer me honestly. He didn't even call me a freak or anything when I guessed right, but he just told me the truth and how he felt about the entire thing even though he knew the consequences for breaking the only rule of our kind. If the Volturi got word of Edward breaking the only rule, his family and he would be killed for good and he would most likely have been forced to watch the Volturi kill his family and possibly me and not be able to do a thing. In fact it almost came to just that. Yet you Jake, you had nothing to lose at all, and it took you longer to tell me than Edward who had everything to lose and possibly nothing to gain. The worse Sam would have done would have made you take the run. Shit Jake it is three miles with the rest of the pack biting you. Piece of cake! And hell if it came to that, I could have talked to Sam and talked him into calling the entire thing off! Hell you practically told me latter and you didn't get into any trouble with Sam and he didn't even know it was me! So hell, you had nothing to lose and everything to gain and it took you over a month to actually just tell me you were alive, so that is one of the things that pissed me off." I said rubbing my head harder.

"But…. But he broke your heart Bells," he said still trying to fight a lost war.

I sighed, "Yeah, he did," I said and I could feel Edward tense again, "but he said sorry and I forgave him, and plus he has paid his price for it. But I still love him anyways, and I understand his thinking when he did leave, he was trying to protect me, and he left me loving me and left for me although it killed him inside. I am not going to stand here and deny any of that, but you broke my heart too, Jake right after you told me you would never hurt me. When you told me we couldn't be friends anymore, it hurt. Sure you said sorry latter but the damage was done because you left me when I needed someone to help me the most. In fact do you know what I was thinking when I was driving home that night? 'Not as bad… not as bad… not as bad but bad enough' I was trying to comfort myself even though I knew it wasn't true. For if anyone hurt me the most, it was you Jake even though I denied it, you left me when I needed someone, when I needed a friend the most. You left when my world was falling apart and all I had was that little tiny piece of peace and you took that away. You almost pushed me over the fence of never being whole and being myself again." I took a breath as painful memories came rushing back, "But Jake you know what hurt me the worst? It was the fact that you tried to make me choose between my two families and my best friend or the love of my life. Edward didn't like the fact that I still thought of you as a friend but he dealt with it, but you, you tried to get me to leave Edward and not look back. That hurt the most and pissed me off the most." I sighed and continued to rub my head and I saw Jake just sit down, obliviously finally giving up.

Then Sam spoke for the first time since he got there, "Jake, she is right you weren't even punished and… Edward… had more to risk and more to lose than you did. I'm slightly surprised you didn't realize this earlier or understand what it meant to her, Jake." Then he turned towards me and spoke with a tone that shoed he was a little scared about the answer he was waiting for, "Bella… did you ever forgive me and if not do you think you ever will?"

I answered quickly knowing he had been thinking about it for a long time now, even before he came here, "For not telling me? Yeah I have and I understand why you didn't tell me and I was never upset about it… well I was but then I sat down and thought about it when I moved back with Charlie and it made sense and I was fine with it. For not noticing what pup did to my brother? No, I haven't, maybe I might soon, but I don't know. And yeah Sam, it was me in the tree's shadows all those times following you and Paul, I wasn't spying I was just making sure my father and brother were safe and alright. I know you have been wondering about if for a while now." I said smiling slightly.

So Bella," Embry asked, "Who are your family members?" obliviously hopping he was in my family.

I just smiled, "Almost everyone in my make shift families, both the pack and my new 'adopted' family. So I have two moms and dads, Emily and Esme, and Carlisle and Sam, five brothers since Quil hasn't joined yet, you, Jasper, Emmett, Jacke, and Paul, two sisters, Alice and Rosalie, and my husband Edward and that is it unless I don't know about people." I said smiling.

"Nah, that's everyone, for now at least." Embry said but whispered the last part with pain evident in his voice.


End file.
